Dating Don’ts and Disasters
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Finally home after what seems like the worst date I’ve ever been on, I feel compelled to share what I consider the faux pas of dating. I’d assumed this was common knowledge, but after tonight I know it’s safe to assume nothing when it comes to dating.
1.     Do not show up in a wife-beater T-shirt and jeans, or any other outfit that looks overly casual. Your date doesn’t expect you to wear a coat and tie or a ball-gown, but the first time you see your date in person, it helps for that first impression if you are well-dressed.
Automatic strikeouts – blue jeans and a blue T-shirt (don’t you like any other color?), socks with sandals, those “barefoot” shoes with toes, excessive cleavage (meaning acres of chest and yards of legs – pick ONE to show off and save the rest for later)
2.     Do not call your date “dude” or use the word “like” twice in every other sentence. Your date doesn’t expect you to speak like a college professor, and to flaunt a massive vocabulary on the first date can be intimidating and off-putting. Still, excessive use of “dude” and “like” gets old real fast, even in Southern California.
3.     If your date is a big sports fan, and you go somewhere together to watch the game, watch the game with them. When you try to interview them during the game, you will get incomplete answers and building resentment. Talking is what the commercials are for. No one is suggesting you have to sit in complete silence while the game is going on, but if your date is a huge sports fan and he/she is watching a playoff game, it is NOT a good time to ask them about their career goals and their family life. Choose your moments, or you’ll strike out looking.

4.     Don’t talk about sex unless that’s the only thing you’re looking for. If you have any respect at all for your date as a human being, do not, do not, DO NOT ask about their favorite sexual position. The questions you ask on a first date speak volumes about your priorities, so asking this personal question on the first or even second date may rub your date the wrong way.
5.     If your date is meeting you at your complex or at a restaurant, make sure they know how to get there. When your date can’t find the address you gave them using their Tom-Tom or their smart phone, periods of aimless driving ensue and frustration builds before the date has even begun. If you know that in the past people have had to use different cities or cross-streets in their GPS to get the right address to show up, don’t keep that information to yourself. The easier it is for your date to find you, the easier it is to relax as you begin the date.
6.     If you are meeting your date somewhere, make sure you have your phone with you, and answer the texts and calls you get from them until you have them in your sights. If your date can’t find your complex or the restaurant and you don’t return their calls until 5 minutes later, hostility builds and builds. Is this really how you want your date to start?
7.     Once you begin your date, don’t answer any texts or calls unless it’s your mom. Even if it is your mom on the other line, the longer you talk on the phone, the longer your date has alone with their thoughts to judge you and what you’re saying. A good line for these situations is “Hey Mom, I’m with (a pretty lady/a cute guy/a friend) right now and I don’t want to be rude. Can I call you later? Thanks Mom.” See? Not difficult at all.
8.     When your date does arrive at your house or apartment complex, don’t greet them with a beer in your hand, then suggest the two of you drive somewhere. You met this person seconds ago and already you’re asking them to trust you behind the wheel with their life at stake? Drinking and driving is not a joke, and real trust has to be earned.
9.     If your date doesn’t keep up with you on the consumption of alcoholic beverages, don’t comment on it. You don’t know them well enough to challenge them to drink more alcohol, and doing so suggests you’d prefer they weren’t sober when talking to you. What does that say about your self-esteem or self-respect?
10.  If you’re going to try to kiss your date at the end of the night, make sure you aren’t all slobbery. Kissing can be awkward, enjoyable, passionate or miserable. Make sure your date actually wants to be kissed, and make sure you don’t slobber all over them if you do go for it. Girls, or at least one girl I know, can tell a lot about a guy by how he kisses – is it sloppy, timid, controlled, passionate, forceful, polite or meaningful?
Conclusion: First dates are usually fairly awkward, but there are certainly things you can do to improve your chances of a second date. First of all, don’t do any of the ten things on the list above. Second of all, remember this: how your present yourself matters. This isn’t just about whether you’re laying your life story out there on the table right off the bat, or whether you’re lying and just telling your date what they want to hear (both are bad). Charm counts. Appearances and attire don’t go unnoticed. Actions do speak louder than words, and dude, like, word choice like totally matters, like a lot, you know?
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